I really hate when bloggers take on a preachy tone. I do.
But sometimes, you just gotta get on a soapbox, you know? And right now, I need
a soapbox, because young men need to stop acting like jerkfaces and start
acting like MEN.
Last night I was out with the girls and ordered a beer at
the bar. I didn’t have cash, and they had a $10 minimum for cards, so I bought
three and intended to distribute them out to my thirsty friends. A young man
approached me at the bar and said, “Wow, that’s a lot of beer for one girl!”
He seemed unassuming. He was one of those guys that should
be really sweet because they’re lacking certain characteristics that would
normally get women to talk to them… like, you know, an attractive face, nice
hair, teeth, muscles… the usual. He was tall, pudgy, had strange wispy curly
ginger-ish hair and a stubbly face. He was wearing some hideous fleece vest
over a flannel shirt and khakis (how original for “Southern” boys… not). So I
assumed that he would be nice to make up for these obvious shortcomings. Boy
was I wrong.
I explained to him about the minimum, and said, “you can
have one if you want.” It’s a $3 beer. I don’t give a crap, he can have one. I
wasn’t trying to get hit on, or get him to buy me drinks. I have a wonderful
boyfriend to buy me drinks. I was just being nice. Because sometimes I’m a nice
person.
“Wow! Really? Thanks! Well at least let me buy you a shot!”
he said, pleasantly surprised.
“OK, sure!” was my response, still thinking he was a decent
human being.
“What do you like?” he said, before his friend came over and
interrupted us to hand him another shot (what a terrible wingman, btw. I’m not
a bro and even I know you shouldn’t interrupt your buddy if he’s talking to a
hottie). He threw back the shot, paused
and said, ”Actually, no. The rule is I actually have to have a conversation
with a girl before I buy them a shot.”
“Um, ok?” was my baffled response. I mean, I just gave the
dude a beer trying to be nice and now he’s trying to blackmail me into talking
to him so that I can get a free shot? I’m pretty sure I didn’t look that desperate.
Then it got worse. He
looked at me, almost studying me, and said “You look like you might be worth
having a conversation with. Are you worth having a conversation with?”
Are. You. Joking. I look like I might be worth a
conversation? Was this supposed to be flattering, that this stranger for whom I
just bought a beer thought I was worthy of his time and perhaps interesting
enough to somehow entertain him and earn a shot? Dance, monkey, dance!
I gave him the “WTF Face” (photo below, so you know what
I’m referencing), clinked my beer against his, and said “you know what? I don’t
need a shot. Enjoy your beer.” And then I walked back to my friends.
Vintage WTF face with my friend Carly.
AND THEN. Yes, there’s more. AND THEN he had the audacity to come over to
my friends, sit at their table, and start giving them the same dog and pony
show about wanting to have a conversation with a girl when I was in the
bathroom.
So I very obviously, and rather loudly, gave him the death
stare and proceeded to tell each one of my friends about how rude he was at the
bar. He left shortly thereafter.
Now, if you are a Millenial male reading this, let me tell
you something. IF you EVER meet a girl that is out of your league and somehow
still nice enough to buy you a beer, you THANK HER politely, buy her a drink in
return, and perhaps strike up a conversation if you’re feeling ballsy. You do
not act like an egotistical, misogynistic douchebag. Women are not sex objects.
We do not have to EARN your respect. We are human beings and with that comes a
certain level of respect that everyone deserves, and you should treat us as
such. If you want to have a conversation and meet a nice girl, just have a
conversation. Don’t challenge her to prove her worth. Do not make her recite
her resume to try and seem interesting and earn a shot in hopes that you’re
both drunk enough to rub up against each other naked later. Ask her where she’s
from, what she does for a living, what she likes to do for fun. Ask her if she
has siblings, pets, and what her goals are. Tell her some interesting stuff
about yourself, like the reason that you’re wearing a hideous vest in a bar is
that you went hiking in the Appalachians earlier today because you love the
great outdoors. Tell her she is pretty, seems like a kind, interesting person,
and that you’d like to see her again. And THAT, gentlemen, is how you should
treat a lady.
By the way, that d-bag in the bar? Wound up in an
altercation with the police over his drunk idiot friend. His night could have
ended with a conversation with a cute girl. Instead it ended with a conversation
with a cop. Karma is SERVED, biotch!
All for now, more to come.
-A
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