If I Had A Million Dollars

"If I had a million dollars, I'd buy you love." -Barenaked Ladies

Contrary to the catchy Barenaked Ladies tune, I sure wouldn't buy love with a million dollars, because that's not practical. I'm feeling especially poor today so I think I'll rewrite this song to be suited to my current life.

If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
Well, I'd pay off my loans
 Pay off my student loans

And if I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
I'd go to grad school at NYU
Get a Master's in Spanish, or maybe in Com

And if I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
Well, I'd pay off my car
A nice reliant automobile

And if I had a million dollars, I'd invest it

If I had a million dollars
I'd pay off my credit card
If I had a million dollars, no more card!
I wouldn't need that  card!

If I had a million dollars
 I would buy a pair of black Louboutin heels
 or maybe two
 I could just walk around in my Loubis

Like showing off the red soles
 And people would be jealous
 But I'd be really happy

They'd be patent leather, so shiny
 And people would be so jealous
Well, can you blame them?
Yeah

If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
Well, I'd buy Dad a Bimmer,

Real leather seats (though it's cruel)

And if I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
Well, I'd pay off my Mom's mortgage
Yep, and she could have a new garden

And if I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
Well, I'd pay off my brothers' loans too,
All them crazy student loans

 And if I had a million dollars I'd invest it

If I had a million dollars
 I'd donate some to charity
If I had a million dollars
 Truth be told, I'd keep most for me

If I had a million dollars
 I would eat delicious dinners
 Expensive, delicious dinners

Of course I would, I'd just eat more
And buy really expensive desserts with it
Thats right, all the fanciest sweetest desserts

If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
Well, I'd myself a mink
 A real mink, even though that's cruel

And if I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
Well, I'd buy tickets to Vegas
To go see Brit's show

If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
Well, I'd buy Britney tickets
Haven't I always loved Britney?

 If I had a million dollars, I'd invest it

If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
I'd be rich!!

All for now, more to come.

-A